i believe in myself.

Life has suddenly become more livable now that I have something to work towards. This trip to Los Angeles next month is really inspiring me. I have all these concepts, ideas and plans I want to make happen. I've never felt so creative before. It's like a part of myself that I've let lay dormant for so long is now alive and well again and I couldn't be more excited.

What's really helping me is letting go of the past. I've had too much negativity in my life, for the most part I was living in it. I felt hopeless and alone in the world and I participated in behaviors that only brought on more negativity. It's alarming how easily you can fall into a vicious cycle like that.

I'm not a religious person (at all) but I do have faith in something now, and that is in myself. Learning to let go and listen to your own inner voice, finding passion again and wanting your own life to mean something makes all of the difference. I want to find happiness and love and I will go wherever I need to to find it. Life is too short to wait for the right opportunity to pop into your life, sometimes you have to make things happen yourself.

And that's exactly what I plan to do.

So yay, I can finally write the goodbye 2009 post. You were a bitch of a year but you did introduce me to Jeff Buckley, lovely friend old and new... I went back to high school and in the process remembered how I used to spend my nights when life was easy. Hung out with friends I knew then, belly danced again. 2008 was about losing myself and this year I got myself back. Now I'm ready to move on with my life with love and lessons learned. I won't digress about the bad/stupid things that happened, I want to keep those things in the past.