4.18.2011

people pleaser.

It's only been lately that I've tried to adopt a more selfish life style. For so Iong I've been a people pleaser at the expensive of myself. I've edited my online presence as to make other people more comfortable. I've been an "online person" since I was 16. I used to blog on my own site where I would update the HTML each time. It doesn't feel right to hold back but recently I've made my Twitter public and since then I've been more conscience of my online persona. It's really exhausting to think about, really.

I struggle at times when there is so much I want to say but I'm aware of who is going to see it. I know people are watching but that's a concept I've been aware of, it's not new. I want to be me in all aspects of my life and I never want to apologize for the things I say and do. I feel like I'm a good person deep down but I hate the fact I will be judged. I'm sensitive dammit and I care whether people like me or not.

Maybe I shouldn't care. Maybe I should start "doing me" like so many others do.