i believe in myself.

It was a song by Jeff Buckley (previously mentioned) called "Lover You Should Have Come Over" that made me realize I was still in love with my first love. It's amazing to me how much music can hit that chord in you that makes you feel alive and not so alone.

I always wanted to be a musician when I was younger. Music was something higher to me and I wanted to be part of it. I tried my hand at saxophone, piano and guitar - in that order. I failed because I didn't have the patience to practice nor did I want to cut my nails to resist the tapping on the keys.

I'm not sure how it happened but I turned to dance. Well, that's a lie, I do know. When I was 9 or 10 I was in my aunt and uncle's family room watching MTV and a video called "7" by Prince came on. In it was an amazing belly dancer named Mayte. I had never liked Prince before this video, I had no interest. But the dancer intrigued me, she was so graceful and lovely. I think it was at about that time I used to copy dance moves from music videos in my room into the mirror. I did this daily for 5 years more.

As I got older I became more confident in my skills as a dancer. At school dances I had a blast trying out the moves I practiced so much home alone and when I got positive response, I knew I had talent and I loved it. I respected dancers so much, their grace and the way they expressed themselves through movement. I had found my creative release.

I just realized how long this journal entry is about to become.. next week I'll do part two. :)