i believe in myself.

I've never really been lucky in love. Either I was too shy to go after a person I wanted or too shy to show them my true self. But there have been rare times where I let my wall down and I allowed someone in. It took a lot for me to do so once it was done, I decided that no matter what I would work as best I could to make that so called relationship work. But things don't always go the way we plan and soon I found out that I was sacrificing my morals and standards for someone else's comfort.

I don't regret the loves I had because each taught me valuable lessons about myself and who I want to end up spending my life with. I learned that I need to love myself first and foremost before I can allow myself to love someone else. I'm number one in my life and no one has the right to try to make me think otherwise. My love will never die (love fades, it doesn't go away) for those individuals and I'll always remember the good times. But when the bad times outnumber the good times is when I need to step away, no matter how much it hurts.

Unconditional love doesn't mean sacrificing yourself for the people you love. Unconditional love is compromise and understanding. It's not name calling and abuse. It's hugs, kisses and trying to make things better despite differences and bruised egos. It's loving the people your love loves and making them fall in love with you too.

You simply can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I learned that love isn't always enough and that breaks my heart more than anything.

This quote from Stephen King's Secret Window has been ringing in my head all week:

(He) thought that a woman who would steal your love when your love when your love was really all you had, was not much of a woman.